Spider Nightmares

Why does it seem that spiders tend to appear when my husband is NOT around. I mean, seriously?? I like to pretend that I am not afraid of spiders, but the truth is, I'm terrified of them. The bigger they are, the more I cannot kill it.

As we type, I have my eye on this beut:

My husband will probably not come home or another hour or so. Luckily for me, my dear friend Melissa is willing to save the day. She is risking her life, her dignity, and the possibility of her car running out of gas. But she is coming! So I must wait it out. Watching it vet so carefully. There goes my long hoped-for nap.

But seriously...can I tell you about this thing?? It is roughly the of a quarter. It is as black as death, and its too front feelers look like crab claws. If my phone buzzes, or I try to be brave and attempt to approach it to kill it, It stops suddenly, takes a defensive position and waits, just daring me to try a single move, promising with that evil stance that it will fight back and no, it will not be pretty.

Oh please Melissa, please come soon. Something tells me that I am going to be having nightmares about spiders tonight.